Tuesday, August 18, 2009

NINOY'S LETTER TO DAUGHTER BALLSY (1973)

This letter made my eyes misty.
Thanks to Febz for sharing this to me.

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August 18, 1973
FortBonifacio
Makati, Rizal

Ms. Maria Elena C. Aquino
25 Times St. Quezon City

My dearest Ballsy,
I write you this letter with tears in
my eyes and as if steel fingers are crushing my heart because I wanted
so much to be with you as you celebrate your legal emancipation. Now
that you have come of age, my love, a voice tells me that I am no
longer young and suddenly, I feel old.
An old poet gave this advice very long ago “when you are sad, remember
the roses will bloom in December.” I want to send you bouquet of
roses, big red roses from my dreamland garden. Unfortunately for the
present, my roses are not in bloom, in fact they have dropped all
their petals and only the thorns are left to keep me company. I do
think it is fitting to send you a thicket of thorns on this memorable
day!
I am very proud of you because you have inherited all the best traits
of your mother. You are sensible, responsible, even-tempered and
sincere with the least pretenses and affection which vehemently detest
in a woman. I am sure like your mother, you will possess that rare
brand of silent courage and that combination of fidelity and fortitude
that will be the life vest of your man in the tragic moments of his
life.
During my lonely hours of solitary
confinement in FortMagsaysay, Laur, Nueva Ecija last March and April
with nothing else to do but pray and daydream, with only my fond
memories to keep me company, I planned a weekend barrio fiesta for you
in Tarlac for your 18th birthday. I fooled myself into believing that
my ordeal would end with the fiscal year. I planned to invite all your
classmates and friends and their families for the weekends.
The schedule called for an early
departure by bus from Manila and the first stop will be Concepcion,
where lunch will be served by the pool. And after lunch, you were to
visit the SantaRitaElementary School to distribute cookies and ice
cream to the children of that public school where you were first
enrolled.
I guess sheer nostalgia prompted me to include Santa Rita. We were
only three then: Mommie, you and I. Those were the days of happy
memories little responsibilities, tremendous freedom, a great future
ahead and capped by a fulfillment of love.. You are the first fruit of
our union, the first proof of our love and the first seal of our
affections.
From Concepcion we were to proceed to
Luisita for the barrio fiesta. I intended to invite a friend who could
roast an entire cow succulently. Swimming, pelota, dancing and eating
would have been the order of the day.
Sunday morning was reserved for a trip around the Hacienda and the
mill and maybe golf for some of the parents and later a picnic-lunch
on Uncle Tony’s Island. Return to Manila after lunch. I am afraid this
will have to remain as one of the many dreams I had in Laur.
Our future has suddenly become
uncertain and our fate unknown. I am even now beginning to doubt
whether I’ll ever be able to return to you and the family. Hence, I
would like to ask you these special favors.
Love your mother, whose love for you,
you will never be able to match. She is not the greatest mother in the
world, she is your sincerest friend.
Take care of your younger sisters and
brother and lavish them with the love and care I would like to
continue giving them but am unable to do so.
Help Noy-noy along and pray hard that
he will grow to be a real, responsible man who in later years will
protect you all.
You are the model for your three
younger sisters. Your responsibility is therefore great.
Please endeavor to live up to our highest expectations. Be more
tolerant to Pinky, more accessible to Viel, our little
genius-princess, and more charitable to Krissy, our baby doll, and
make up for my neglect.
Finally, forgive me, my love, for not
having been an ideal, good and thoughtful father to you all as I
pursued public office. I had hopes and high resolve of making up, but
I am afraid my destiny will not oblige.
I seal this letter with a drop of tear and a prayer in my heart, that
somehow, somewhere we shall meet again and I will finally be able to
make up for all my lapses, in the kingdom where justice reigns supreme
and love is eternal.

I love you,
Dad

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