Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Wonder Woman

If you would be a super hero, which super hero would you be?

Fellow TMs and guests, good evening!

In my workplace, they call me – the Wonder Woman!
Not just because I am attractive, I am skillful; I am intellectual…but also because I just wander off!
The answer is just as simple as ABC. It’s just because of my heroic instinct.
Whenever someone calls for help – Wonder Woman is sure to help!

First second you’ll see me at the work station of a colleague manipulating her computer, the next second you’ll see me in the comfort room helping a friend fix her broken zipper, and the next minute you’ll see me in the canteen helping a friend finish her food.

But to those who still wonder, I just give them time to ponder!
Because when they’re done pondering, they’ll not anymore be wondering!

I guess you already know that Superheroes need to put their powers to good use, right?
Just like what my ex boyfriend said “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”!
And so, I had to be a member of the Fire brigade team. They surely would need my super strength in times of emergency.
I also have to protect the world from climate change so I had to be a member of EPC and make a change.
I am also a ISO/TS 16949 internal auditor so that I can fight for justice and peace. Unsay konek? Well, it’s for you to find out!

Those are just a few things that I do to the company. Don’t you think Lear is just so lucky to have me?
I guess you’re not yet convinced. Now, let me use my hypnotic powers on you then.
Now, say it. “The company is lucky to have you Wonder Woman.” Ok, great!
I still can see people not following me. Watch out, because these people are the actually the villains.
But every superhero has its weakness…
As powerful as I am, I admit that when I’m not mentally or physically challenged, I become a WANDER woman. I have a tendency to turn the attention from one subject to another with little consistency of thought. In short, I tend to daydream.

My husband is the number one in the witness protection program. As a couple, we talk about anything - current challenges and of course, our future plans. We just recently had a discussion via Skype over our plans for our second honeymoon as it will be our 10th wedding anniversary this December. Hand-in-hand we were climbing the Great Wall of China, we swimming together with the dolphins in Cancun, and diving together in the Great Barrier Reef. We were just having the best time of our life  when I suddenly heard a soft voice getting louder and louder. “Hello, hello, hello???”  “Ni-hang and internet??” “Ha? ahhh wala..” “Have you been to outerspace again?” I just gave him my sweetest smile.

I remember one time when I was riding on a tricycle on my way home late at night. You know, I also have to live like a normal person. I was looking at the scenery. The place was so beautiful, like paradise. I saw trees of green, red roses; too, I see them bloom for me and you. And I think to myself what a wonderful world. Then I saw birds singing and lions roaring? Wait. Lions? in Lapu-lapu? The place was not familiar anymore. I looked around and realized that I was already in Cordova – 10 minutes away from our house. Good thing that the driver was not a super villain. He drove me back to my place willingly because of the additional money And, just between us? It happened countless times. (Wink!)

Way back when I was in high school, I was a CAT officer. One of our duties is to be a color officer – to command the flag bearers during flag ceremony. Back then, I was very shy and being in front of the whole high school department was a torture. As I was walking towards the center of the quadrangle with my flag bearers beside me, all eyes were staring at me and they even got closer and closer to me. I used my superpowers to poke all those growing eyes one by one. It was almost over when I heard a loud bang. I just bumped myself into the flag pole. Lucky thing, I am a superhero, I just let myself disappear.
Well, I may wander when I’m weak but I already know how to regain my strength – to continually challenge myself. That’s why I’m here – a superhero trying to be humorous!
This time let me ask you, Pueblo Verde Toastmasters Club members. Are you not lucky to have of me?  Hmmm… I guess there’s no need for a hypnosis then!

First Place 
PVTMC Humorous Speech Contest
AC: The Entertaining Speaker
August 9, 2016